I am nice

I am nice

A list of mundane questions, asked to me by my intensely sensible and knowledgeable relatives. I cringe that I have to put down this list and make myself look like a complete idiot. But lonely men have nothing much to talk about, do they. I am legend:

 1. So, how's the weather there in hyderabad? I came to hyderabad once in 1978, it used to be hotter in summer and colder in winter then.

My Answer : Its good. It is colder than previous years' winter but it is manageable

What I actually wanted to say : Yes, summers and winters are like that. Infact they have been like that since I was born. Thanks for enlightening me that it was the same in 1978 as well. 

2. Did you take a flight? How much did it cost? How long does it take to reach CBE from HYD?

MA : Yes. Approx 3000. 1 hour 15 mins

WIAWTS : Yes, I did take a flight. Last time I saw you, I listed down 10 reasons why I come by flight and flight alone. Thanks for caring enough to ask for the prices. Inflation has increased the prices and it would be great if you provide me with a small allowance for my stupid trips to see you folks. It still takes the same 1 hour 15 mins. And - and please don't ever ask these questions again since I have been answering them for 3 years now. I am in need of a BREAK.

3. Hyderabad is a nice place. Have you settled there? How about food - are you getting TN food? You shouldn't have any problems because there are tamilians from Ambur there settled in every street.

MA : Yes, its a nice place. I have settled well - I do get TN food but its scarce. I don't see much TN restaurants or people there. Probably I am staying in a wrong place

WIAWTS : Yes, its a nice place. You are a moron to think that I would be still settling there after 3 and a half years. No - I do not get TN food - I wouldn't be arsed to be eating undercooked and spicy masala curries if I could get decent TN food. And hell no - I haven't seen any Ambur person there in any of the 139 streets I have visited in Hyderabad. And am getting tired of being asked to search for one again.

4. Hyderabad teems with muslims. More than 75% there are muslims. You can find a mosque in every nook and corner of hyderabad. All of them speak only urdu - no hindi or telugu. In streets its rare to see a girl without Burqa.

MA : A wry smile along with "..in my area muslim population is a bit less but I have heard all of the above is true in Old Hyderabad area" (these comments are no longer made directly at me but it happens so that someone invariable wanted to talk about their knowledge of hyderabad from their single trip in you-know-the-year-is-1978 and wanted to share it with someone and at the end cast a look at me to provide approval. God..err..I mean Allah knows what would happen if I disapprove).

WIAWTS : Hyderabad doesn't teem with muslims - I am not bothered with the percentages for I am not involved in taking a census to provide you knowledgeable folks with correct statistics but if its 75%, then I am Will Smith. People speak telugu as well as hindi and urdu - I speak in English in office and am bothered only about that. No - girls do come in sarees, chudis, skirts, pants and what-not including a small percentage who wear burqa's. Quite frankly, I like girls in the former dresses.

5. How's work? When are you going to US? I have a cousin whose son is searching for a job. He has excellent marks and outstanding English but still seems difficult to get a job. Can you get one in your company?

MA : Work is good. They do not send us to US in our company that often. Sure, I do remember him - ask him to send me a mail. I will guide him.

WIAWTS : Work is good and am not interested in going to US. I have told this to you a dozen times already but you are hell-bent on believing that I am a big rogue in my office and hence not being sent to office. I do not wish to change the perception. If I was rogue enough, your face would have been disfigured by now. Yes, I remember that guy - wasn't his name *****. Yes - I know his excellent marks - he had 54% in twelfth and has completed BSc Computer science with 67% from a lowly half-stew of a college in Erode. And his english - I remember that well too - he had completely floored me by "...I underplayed your problem..." in his last mail when he simply wanted to say that he understood me...gee, thats a nice way of saying it. And I have told you already that I am not in charge of recruitment in my company or in any other for that matter. I can send his resume to concerned but it seems no one wants that guy - leave us alone and ask him to complete his PG atleast.

There are just too many to list here. I am getting tired and for once I believe the list is complete. No use in filling space with dirt. If all this doesn't prove that I am nice then am not sure what will.