Musings

An update..

Its all a getting a bit too much. For all the wait I suffered, I am asked to give more to it. Well, thats expectation for you...

I always liked hill stations - their climate, the greenery and most of all, the majestic hills that always make you wonder at their strength and yonder for more yourself. I wish, I could go to some place like it now. I really wish I had the time and the means to be at such a place, all alone - with just a phone. I am not sure whom I will call, but then, I would be waiting for sure.

That's it - not really a post I know, but nevertheless an update on my tumultous mind.

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The wedding day

The day came and the day went. They day itself didn't have a formal start for I had no sleep the night before. It can be attributed to almost nil and the morning had its own share of more work and more work. With some lousy relatives commanding things (and nothing more..) and a few other relatives having a detached feeling (a bit too detached..I may add), the day was not supposed to be rosy. And the day went.

So many good people did attend the marriage and there were a few nostalgic moments too. There was a schoolmate of mine whom I met after 7 years, a few other relatives I forgot for years together, a sweet kid of my aunt and many more. Those had atleast a good heart and no thought in them to feign action. Indeed I hate feigning workers more than idle workers. There were a more than a few share of feigning people around and I quickly found myself in one of my sourest moods. But the day went.

The function actually started and went along well. There were friends, some good talk, a healthy brew of heart-filled entertainment. I probably thought of naming it the most happiest in my life so far. But the day went.

After lunch the groom's people were preparing to take my sis with them. I had already learnt that my sis was crying (a lil sister she was) and I thought of how silly it was. Later sister and her husband (the marriage was formally over with signatures a few minutes before lunch) came over to the stage for some photo shoots and that's when I saw that she was crying. Something hit me and I didn't flinch. I moved about in the same way.

Suddenly I saw that she was staring at me, not at me but at my pants. Earlier in the day, I had worn the wrong trousers for a shirt and she wanted me to change it. I had done it and it was obvious that she was looking at them (what she thought might be one good guess). It would have been more easier for me if she had cried looking at me but she just stared. I moved, with a short quick movement (I was standing at that time), I put in a few more people in her view towards me and I made sure I never turned back to look into her eyes. She might or might not have appreciated my stupendous folly. The day was almost over then.

She cried into my shoulders when she boarded the car. I was not sure if she talked something but she was sobbing heavily and I could never make out. I blurted out the same old 'you stupid, dont cry' dialogue with a grin that made her sob a bit more. Time was running away and she let me go. I certainly had tears in my eyes. I did held them back, for afterall I am supposed to take it easy. Sometimes as shameless as I am, its better to accept it.

The day went on and we departed from the marriage hall. As I looked into the empty halls, I saw a peer... 

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Of marriage plans and buying books

It has become a habit of me to feel painfully sleepish whenever I open the page for posting a bloglet. Its quite ridiculous that I should feel this way for its a habit that I am not being sincere to recently. I no longer can call it a habit, can I?

The marriage preparations are going on fine. Mom and sis often say with sad overtones some problem or the other and its quite a pain trying to explain them I am very far to help. I would be there this weekend and would be happy to be in control. The gift has not yet been decided and probably never decided at all. Its all the same for me, but expectants aren't quite vary as me.

I am in need of a good book to read. I am also considering buying a own novel for the first time. No - not a new Grisham/Hailey book but the fountainhead. Its been a while since I read it and obviously, if I am ever to break my legacy of never having read a novel twice, it should have a 'Howard Roark'.

I wish Howard Roark never understood himself. He didn't according to his own confession but I know better.

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