Musings

A bloglet about vacillant blogwriting, moron's marriage and walking streets

I hate updating the blog when I am on vacation. To set things straight and lengthen this bloglet which I believe would be very long even without this piece of information, let me quote the top few reasons in descending order:

5. The place where I write my blog from is always a nightmare. I do not have an internet connection at home, so I have to get to a netcafe. The cafe where I am seated now has no privacy and worse yet, there are just too many college students trying to make everyone understand that their project work which they are in need to be typed/formatted has to be carefully typed or else the next columbia shuttle may fail.

4. I have to ramble inevitably about someone I met who is either  a. a stranger whom I met on my journey home or b. some relative who got hold of me somewhere. They would have the same thing in common, they would have bored the shit out of me.

3. I have to put up with a stupid internet connection and a keyboard that has surely undergone a year's typing by some gorilla in a circus-show. The gorilla might have looked cute but it has sure loosened all the keys. There - I have to remember to press "Enter" thrice one I put this period.

2.  I start my miss my daily routine of sleep (mandatory), work (optional) during a vacation and end up as a over-eaten and active youngish boy. I think its difficult for people to understand, but I rarely write anything that I enjoy when I am in such mood. I need some sleep-deprivation, some hunger and a lot of tiredness to write a blog I enjoy later (please note that I have used the term "a blog that I enjoy" - I rarely write anything enjoyable for others).

1. The grand numero uno : If have to put up with all the above reasons and still write this bloglet, then it invariably means that I am BORED AS HELL!!

Now, with my bloglet: the moron's marriage was splendid. It was good and I felt really happy for her. I had a twinge of my ego peaking at one point and the overall joy of her marriage was too good for me. I was smiling all day. Ergo, I have managed to miss her already but as it always happens (I know this with my previous experience with the wedding and parting of my own sister), time tends to heal all these small skirmishes. I have no intention of posting this paragraph in the final bloglet. I consider this a blasphemy and I always felt bad about writing after my own sister's wedding - events like these are not to be written and published. If you are reading all this stuff, it simply means that I have had a miraculous change of mind later.

The shopping spree lasted the whole weekend. I was buying things for the groom who happens to be my brother, the bride and for me as well. The groom has had a navy blue blazer which suits him just fine. My task now is to make sure that I dress presentable when the day comes, something which I am never comfortable with. But all those can wait.

The following text is a new revelation for me. Considering the endless tirade of the dorky college girls with whom I share the net cafe now, I might even consider to write the following as a thesis and submit it for a Ph.D. Ok, enough of the build-ups - here it is: vacations are not just good breaks from the monotony of work in a remote location. They are a source of great visions and a place where you do a lot of thinking for your life ahead. This is not completely new if you think about it but I am in the mood for casting everything I think of as a revelation right now. It has been four days since the vacation started but I haven't relaxed much. There has been just too much in the air to think about nothing and take what we often call a "break". And of course there has been questions and a lot of them. And of course I take a small walk everyday, talking to myself inside. There is nothing as good as a walk in my old streets. Streets which have seen me going to school carrying a bag/lunch, seen me going to college with a notebook and seen me going away in a car to take a flight to a far off land - my new home. Its been twenty years this June since we came to this place - nothing much to get envied at or even consider a emotional attachment to this place. But even after all these years, there is a simple truth that I talk well within myself in this place than anywhere else. I hope to walk to my own destiny soon.

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A collosal chaos

Right now, at this very moment when I start typing in another meaningless bloglet, there are trillion things going on in my mind. I am not very tired, I am not very fresh either. There is still a ounce of the headache that I had yesterday left in me and I wouldn't want that to grow. There are numerous old wise-sayings about headaches but you never think of them when you don't have one. I find it difficult to point to one now - as always. Yesterday's pain was mind-numbing - it started to grow after dinner-time and by midnight I had tried to sleep twice but got up without success. That's another bad thing about me - I just cannot sleep unless everything feels fine with myself. And that seldom happens. I tried watching TV again but had to quit after 5 minutes. I just wished I could call someone and chat for hours - that would atleast help me spend time and hope for a mind-numbing sleep to behold me at the end of it. Thinking of which I suddenly remembered a call I had received a while ago. It had come later than 2 AM in the morning and the caller was complaining of a toothache. I woke up hearing the voice (picking calls and putting them to ear were involuntary actions by then) and had to restrain myself from rebuking the other side for calling me when I was asleep. But the other voice continued - it finally asked me to suggest a pain relief mechanism. I declined saying that I didn't know anything about it. An idea crept upto me then - I could always google it and find a simple solution. But the computer seemed a light year away (even in that darkness I could see its silhoutte a few feet from my bed) and I didn't suggest anything. The caller perhaps reading my mind by then (or perhaps there was an almost-silent "oh" that was picked up) and suggested me to look at the internet. I mumbled saying that I wouldn't want to do it but if it was highly essential, then I will look at it. There was an instant no - I half-wished now that there was a delay that I could have comprehended. I don't remember how the call proceeded from there. Most probably I put down the phone after a couple of "take care"s on either side of a bye. I slept peacefully that day.

Having a headache is like having a thousand bees all around you - their stings full of venom. You know that they hurt and you know that you will wince when they sting. But the most difficult part of the situation is not the pain you get when they sting but the constant droning - the hum of the bees. They go on and on inside your head and you feel that you are never going to see the end of it. The incessant droning is still present albeit mildly - I just wish I knew a cure.

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A sense of time!

The day started a bit differently. Someone with a phone decided to check if good Ol' Rizwan was still alive and kicking in his bed and called me up at 8 in the morning. Yes - it is usually the time of the day (or should I say night!) when my dreams get started and I look forward  (with my inner eye of course) to couple of hours of more sleep. As such, I put down the phone a minute later and looked at the plastic clock near my bed. It was grinning wildly, with an incorrect time. It has been doing this for a while now - and there's a story.

The story is simple - it no longer works. It has been as static as the pyramids for almost a month now. And there is a reason it no longer runs - it is devoid of a battery. I am highly used to keeping a sense of time. My first wrist watch was brought when I was still wearing shorts to school (I moved to pants when I moved to sixth standard - so thats saying something) and I always had a trend of keeping a keen track of time. During those years in school I somehow realized that having a sense of time is really important and managing time is one of the most callous virtues in life. I am a stickler for punctuality and there has been more than one instance where I dropped out of a plan because the other party didn't turn up in time.

Years rolled by and the boy in shorts grew up to be a man which is me. I started working for a living and I had two wrist watches and a mobile to keep track of time. Sleeping at night, without the wrist watches (I have seen some people wear wrist watches during sleep - I do not do this) and the mobile phone was always a problem. I finally got myself a cheap clock that I kept near my bed. Its the thing I normally see first once I wake up. There is a alarm functionality in the clock but I seldom use it. I like the accuracy of my mobile phone a tad better than an analog stick which goes roundabout in the bed-clock. Even if the alarm is ringing and I wake up at the other side of the bed, I always look up to my bed-clock to see if my mobile phone has been accurate. Till date, it always has been.

The clock died a sudden death like all battery failures. I still haven't got myself to put in a new battery. I still haven't forgotten to look at it every morning. It still grins. 

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Sundays and Mondays

Ah..sundays!!! They are a bliss to my lazy oblivion but what passed me yesterday was not the same. I woke up late in the morning feeling as healthy as a seasick orangutan. By afternoon I had thrown up twice and with nothing left to eat or drink, I crept to a easy sleep that lasted till late evening. For the first time in my life, I brushed my teeth at past 9 PM and that too because I felt so dry in my mouth. I had no idea to eat - I sincerely believed I would throw up again even if I got the sight of food.

Devoid of sleep. All games were boring. There was no TV channel worth having a look. No EPL (or should I say BPL - hell, who cares) matches to follow. Nothing remotely interesting to read. All pushed me to watch a film titled "Little Manhattan". It was one of those films which wouldn't last for more than 5 seconds when I do my channel scans (my roomies claim that it is the only mode I work in when I have the TV remote). Now, while I had accidentally stumbled across the film on a day with nothing else left to do than count my own hair till hell opens, I have to admit that it was one of those films which I would have certainly loved to watch any day. And I knew it 1 minute into the film. The film was about a 10 year old boy who rediscovers the girl whom he had played with in KG but had moved apart. They hadn't been separated physically - they were still in the same school - its just that he grew up to a normal boy with fear that a girl's touch could give you a disease called cuties which made you vomit and cry. This concept is explained using a literal iron curtain in the film (and some guys throwing up randomly).

What happens next was told in the most ironical, sarcastic and idiotically simpler manner that I hadn't expected. I half-wished that the film fails somewhere, for I couldn't believe that there are so many films that I have been ignorant about so far. It almost did but I knew that it wasn't going to be - the end was an absolute stormer. I simply had to bow  to the film makers.

Ah....mondays!!! They are the bliss to the workaholic macho inside me whom I have never found coming out on mondays. I woke up late in the morning and felt healthy. To office. Tried to work but failed. Edited all the wiki information about "Little Manhattan" - read through the imdb quotes page for the film and I think the feeling of warmth is still growing. I really wished I could have had the strength not to write this bloglet for I know that I wouldn't have written it two days thence. It really feels embarrassing....or as excruciating as having you and your date in the same room with your mom's date and having nothing to say. Well, atleast till he comes and advices you on following rules of date.

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I am nice

A list of mundane questions, asked to me by my intensely sensible and knowledgeable relatives. I cringe that I have to put down this list and make myself look like a complete idiot. But lonely men have nothing much to talk about, do they. I am legend:

 1. So, how's the weather there in hyderabad? I came to hyderabad once in 1978, it used to be hotter in summer and colder in winter then.

My Answer : Its good. It is colder than previous years' winter but it is manageable

What I actually wanted to say : Yes, summers and winters are like that. Infact they have been like that since I was born. Thanks for enlightening me that it was the same in 1978 as well. 

2. Did you take a flight? How much did it cost? How long does it take to reach CBE from HYD?

MA : Yes. Approx 3000. 1 hour 15 mins

WIAWTS : Yes, I did take a flight. Last time I saw you, I listed down 10 reasons why I come by flight and flight alone. Thanks for caring enough to ask for the prices. Inflation has increased the prices and it would be great if you provide me with a small allowance for my stupid trips to see you folks. It still takes the same 1 hour 15 mins. And - and please don't ever ask these questions again since I have been answering them for 3 years now. I am in need of a BREAK.

3. Hyderabad is a nice place. Have you settled there? How about food - are you getting TN food? You shouldn't have any problems because there are tamilians from Ambur there settled in every street.

MA : Yes, its a nice place. I have settled well - I do get TN food but its scarce. I don't see much TN restaurants or people there. Probably I am staying in a wrong place

WIAWTS : Yes, its a nice place. You are a moron to think that I would be still settling there after 3 and a half years. No - I do not get TN food - I wouldn't be arsed to be eating undercooked and spicy masala curries if I could get decent TN food. And hell no - I haven't seen any Ambur person there in any of the 139 streets I have visited in Hyderabad. And am getting tired of being asked to search for one again.

4. Hyderabad teems with muslims. More than 75% there are muslims. You can find a mosque in every nook and corner of hyderabad. All of them speak only urdu - no hindi or telugu. In streets its rare to see a girl without Burqa.

MA : A wry smile along with "..in my area muslim population is a bit less but I have heard all of the above is true in Old Hyderabad area" (these comments are no longer made directly at me but it happens so that someone invariable wanted to talk about their knowledge of hyderabad from their single trip in you-know-the-year-is-1978 and wanted to share it with someone and at the end cast a look at me to provide approval. God..err..I mean Allah knows what would happen if I disapprove).

WIAWTS : Hyderabad doesn't teem with muslims - I am not bothered with the percentages for I am not involved in taking a census to provide you knowledgeable folks with correct statistics but if its 75%, then I am Will Smith. People speak telugu as well as hindi and urdu - I speak in English in office and am bothered only about that. No - girls do come in sarees, chudis, skirts, pants and what-not including a small percentage who wear burqa's. Quite frankly, I like girls in the former dresses.

5. How's work? When are you going to US? I have a cousin whose son is searching for a job. He has excellent marks and outstanding English but still seems difficult to get a job. Can you get one in your company?

MA : Work is good. They do not send us to US in our company that often. Sure, I do remember him - ask him to send me a mail. I will guide him.

WIAWTS : Work is good and am not interested in going to US. I have told this to you a dozen times already but you are hell-bent on believing that I am a big rogue in my office and hence not being sent to office. I do not wish to change the perception. If I was rogue enough, your face would have been disfigured by now. Yes, I remember that guy - wasn't his name *****. Yes - I know his excellent marks - he had 54% in twelfth and has completed BSc Computer science with 67% from a lowly half-stew of a college in Erode. And his english - I remember that well too - he had completely floored me by "...I underplayed your problem..." in his last mail when he simply wanted to say that he understood me...gee, thats a nice way of saying it. And I have told you already that I am not in charge of recruitment in my company or in any other for that matter. I can send his resume to concerned but it seems no one wants that guy - leave us alone and ask him to complete his PG atleast.

There are just too many to list here. I am getting tired and for once I believe the list is complete. No use in filling space with dirt. If all this doesn't prove that I am nice then am not sure what will. 

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My favourite last-lines

In this season of lists, this bloglet proudly presents another utterly-useless list. This time its my favourite last lines from whatever I have read/seen so far. Let's begin:

1. "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." - The Catcher in the Rye.

The book had already made a strong case of its underlying philosophical current that this line seemed redundant. But it was a fitting end. A really fitting end and I hate to say that its truly true.

2. "... grinned smugly. It was the grin of a winner. That made two of us. " - Max Payne

Yes - its the old macho computer game. I had never believed a game could have a gripping story until I played Max Payne. He was awesome - not just in his bullet-time movements but in expressing his thought process as well. The last lines were spoken when he finally killed every last member of the crime family (I forget the italian family's surname) who killed Payne's wife and child. The scene made a lot of sense, when I played the game - it still does, which is an irony.

3. "...Every day I think about what you said to me that day on the bridge. And I've tried to live my life the best I could. I hope that was enough. I hope that at least in your eyes, I've earned what all of you have done for me." - Saving Private Ryan

Yes - its not the sci-fi thrillers which I have watched over and over again. I have watched the Matrix, terminator and V for Vendetta many times for their grippy dialogues but none of them have a last-line that is worth remembering. Saving Private Ryan - a gripping emotional tale for the tear-bearers had such a line. The lines are spoken by Ryan who has grown older now, in front of Capt. Miller's grave (Tom Hanks). When Miller and his men gave their life to save Ryan, he had only the words "Earn this..earn it" to say to Ryan. There is something vaguely undramatic about a war memorial and the dialogue was said in one - it made me think about a lot of things in my life the first time I saw the film. It still does.

4. "If they ever tell my story let them say that I walked with giants. Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names will never die. Let them say I lived in the time of Hector, tamer of horses. Let them say I lived in the time of Achilles." - Troy

The lines are by Odysseus at Achilles' funeral. It was indeed a gripping dialogue in a film which has some comical fighting, great music (atleast according to Ramak) and good dialogues.

5. "I love you" - Rocky

Just when I was reeling in exultation at Rocky Balboa for having done himself proud by staying in the ring with the World Champion for 15 rounds, comes his love to confess her love. There was no bigger moment in the film than this. The film is a classic - the last line was more so.

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A list of ires

There is humour in all that we say - we see humour in kudumi's project farce and our own travails in searching for a new job. Seldom do we sit in home and decide that we need a light-time. Its always light-time in home. Personally, I am one who is very short-tempered. And likewise, all my like able heroes also need to be short-tempered and get maddeningly angry at some point. Below is a small list of film-scenes I liked because the hero got..well..atleast tried to portray anger:

1. Spiderman-2 - I liked Spiderman but the second part simply shook me to my bones in the scene where our good ol' Peter Parker raises as Spiderman in the restaurant after his love was taken away hostage right before his eyes. His spider powers were deserting him and in that instant of maddening ire, his powers are restored. It was one helluva of a scene. Credit to all who did it.

2. Mission Impossible III - I didn't see the film when it got released. After all the hype for MI-2 and its total inept story, I decided that this film was not worth seeing. I was wrong - I saw the film accidentally one night in a DVD and was instantly hooked. I liked the villain a lot. The aeroplane interrogation scene where he calmly asks Ethan details of his family was awesome. And for good measure he calmly states that he is going to get whomever loves him and that he will kill her before his very own eyes. There was menace, there was ire and there was no trace of mercy.

3. Pokkiri - one of my all-time favourite masala film. The scene where Mahesh Babu gets angry over the cop who continually harassed his GF was good. Good, mind you. Mahesh Babu acts as though he is always seems to be angry over something - another reason for being liked by me.

4. Badshah - No list of likeable film scenes is complete without mentioning the hand-pump wielding Thalaivar scene. It was a-w-e-s-o-m-e. Period.

There you go. I believe this is a season of lists. More could come for I am utterly jobless, but I need to go home. And make merry with all my sweet relatives (there is no ire or irritation here). 

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Facts

Yes. This is a post of facts. Lets get the obvious things out of the way before I move along.

1. I am jobless. I am bored. There is nothing more obvious than this. And I said NOTHING.

2. I liked toy trains when I was a kid. I always wanted to have a room filled with a train-path and have a toy train going along it when I grew up (my life time goal was to earn enough to do that). The more obvious fact is that I have enough money now.

3. I love football. I like Man Utd but there is something in Barcelona's play that makes me hope that I get to see all their matches. That something is named as messi.

4. I love slapstick comedy. I need it to be extremely witty as well. I sometimes get real wonder as to how low brains you need to have to really laugh (not mocking laugh as we guys do in our room) at some of Sun TV's best comedy shows. I really hate when they try to teach me that it is really laughable.

5. I want to go visit different places in the world - sometimes I wonder if I would ever manage to go out of India in my lifetime (I am too lazy to make this nightmare true).

6. This is not the first time I mention this in my blog but this is a FACT - I like the following philosophy: "Time is an excellent master but unfortunately it kills all its pupils". I wonder who coined these words. They make sense out of everything we call as experience in this world. Afterall, its a trade-off, isn't it?

7. My all-time favorite commercial is the one for the first Bajaj Caliber model. The lines "Hain chal ne wale ragh mein.." still haunts me sometimes.

8. I still have a lot of facts to say but more than anything there is nothing good in prolonging what is all said and done. I am not a bloody irritating ad-director, you know

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A historical lesson

I wanted to write a blog about the battles that fascinate me most. I had wanted to do it for a while now. I had always been fascinated by history and that is right from my school days. I always read the pages containing the details of battles and wars from my history books more than often. I had been fascinated by how mighty empires were created by the will of so few men (so often the few simply equalled one) and after centuries of existence were merely uprooted by the senselessness of the descendants of the same mighty men. I would always remember the history of the Maurya dynasty - it had all the romanticism of a modern film. Alexander after his victory in the battle of hydapses river (against Porus) he wanted to invade the whole of India. His troops refused because they heard from their newly conquered lands that the Gangetic plain was ruled by the Nanda dynasty which had 8000 war elephants alone, along with numerous other battle-hardened forces (that Alexander never took a minute to consider this issue merely tells how brave and great he was). But the same Nanda dynasty was ousted by a simple man who came from a family of Peacock hunters (hence the name Maurya) in a series of battles in a few years. The Nanda dynasty was ousted and Chandra Gupta Maurya became the emperor of India, all before he attained the age of 20. His empire was empowered by a series of able rulers but after centuries of dominance, they were run ragged by a group of savages from Europe. I still remember the exact lines from my history text book. It read: "The huns arrived and the once mighty Mauryan empire, fell like a pack of cards before them".

But I said, I wanted to write about battles, didn't I? If at all I wanted to write about battles I would choose to write about Battle of Carnae, Battle of Walaja, Battle of Stalingrad and ofcourse the evergreen Battle of Gulagmega. (If any history buff can identify what's common between all these battles, I would certainly fold my arms and surrender.)

But I said, I wanted to write about battles. I am now writing about them here (knowing the few sparse readers my blog has, I know no one is interested in them anyway) - what I want to write about today is a dame called "Jill". No introductions, no formal descriptions about how she looks and all - it is enough if I say, I haven't seen another beautiful girl in my vicinity in all my life. And I can officially declare that she has a great dressing sense and one killing hair-stylist within her.

Today, Jill had come in a full-blown free-flowing hair style - or atleast thats how I saw her. I didn't recognize her coming opposite me and when I suddenly looked up, she was looking straight, straight past me with those brilliant eyes and if at all she noticed me, she didn't show. I hadn't seen her quite as lovely as today and quite unsurprisingly, it took me more than normal time to realize that staring at a girl like that is not the way to go about for a decent person like me (at the end of the day, everyone has a decent person inside him). I quickly came back to senses and walked past her and allowed myself to convince myself a thousand times that she wouldn't have noticed my stare. I am quite good at it - making myself believe in these things.

After a while, something else happened. The quite useless teammate decided to call upon Jill to discuss something not so important right behind me, letting me work all the time. Needless to say, it took me considerable effort to just put things in perspective and work.

There you go - I hope everyone had a good lesson in history. Cheerio all. We will meet in our next history class...did I say "history" just now??

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There are those days when you are not happy

Its a strange thing that I am writing another blog so soon. My frequency has dropped to almost once every 2 months or so and hence what I am doing now is simply outrageous. I am but a freewill breaker of any rules I see (even ones which I formulate myself) and hence I do not consider this an exception. Ergo, anyone who reads this, certainly didn't want this explanation but what's the point of having a blog if you can't write what you want to ramble..er..write.

I am having a headache - no, it was not due to me having to endure Vijay TVs mokkai shows for the weekend, it wasn't even due to Ganesh-trademarked mokkai edhugai-monai jokes which everyone in our room (including myself) are very keen to pickup. It could be my hair for I normally have atleast one bad-headache days before I get a cut - I know its time to have a hair-cut. Isn't it wonderful when you know that in the absence of a mom, you have something else as an yardstick for things so trivial as these?

Speaking of headaches, once in my school days a friend had asked me once if I had a headache, over a normal conversation. I hadn't mentioned to him that I was having one and I remember that it was not that serious for me to cringe or any other stuff like that. I was startled - I asked him how he knew that and he told me that he had observed that people always get a few hard lines in their forehead when they are having headache. I didn't believe it and still am skeptical about it , but there is always such a feeling when I touch my forehead during a headache. Placibo effect, perhaps?

And finally, "Happy Days" is a good film. Not because it portrayed college life as it should be done in films, not even because the ever-likeable character tells the real reason anyone wouldn't want to miss their love and not certainly for everyone in the film played their part to utmost perfection. I liked it because it had a good tribute to Rudyard Kipling's "If". If at all I could recite it here completely here, I would be a man. Films like these certainly make me acknowledge that I am not watching as many films as I should be.

And I need a course in blog titles - this is the lamest title ever written in the history of mankind... 

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